(If you try the following and it leaves you with less fingers, a chronic skin condition, or really embarrassed, then it’s your own damn fault.)
Magic from Hiscox and Sloan:
Biting Off Red-Hot Iron.–Take a piece of hoop iron about 2 feet long, place it in a vise and bend it backwards and forwards, about an inch from the end, until it is nearly broken off. Put this in a furnace until it becomes red hot, then take it in your right hand, grasp the broken end in your teeth, being careful not to let it touch your lips or your tongue, make a “face” as though it was terribly hard to bite off, and let the broken end drop from between your teeth into a pail of water (which your should always have at hand in case of fire), when the hissing will induce the belief that the portion bitten off is still “red hot” – it way be, for that matter, if the iron be nearly broken off in the first place and if you have good teeth and are not afraid to injure them.
In my last expedition to a second-hand bookstore I came across a moldering book with yellow-to-brown pages called “Fortunes in Formulas for Home, Farm and Workshop.” First published in 1907, the edition I found is from 1937, and contains 10,000 formulas for ACID PROOFING to YELLOW (CHROME), TEST FOR.
It’s the sort of book that every handyman would have had in their shed, though the copy I found automatically falls open to the CONDIMENTS section. (The more I look through it, the more I’m sure a future reader will find it falling open on PYROTECHNICS.)
A friend of mind flicking through it was saddened by the thought that a text like this no longer exists, and the book in his hand amounted to lost knowledge. On the other hand, it could be argued that as some of the formulas contain ingredients or procedure that today are questionable if not downright dangerous it might be best out of the hands of Joe Bloggs, Esq.
But as you and I are are above the crowd (admit it, you clever sausage) I’m going to post the odd formula from Hiscox and Sloane. But I hasten to add that, for safety to yourself and the world at large, I don’t recommend trying out said formula. Basically: if you do and it leaves you with less fingers, a chronic skin condition, or really embarrassed, then it’s your own damn fault.
This week, something titillating. Strangely, nowhere in the book are there instructions for how to apply the mixture.
REDUCER TO MAKE BUST SMALLER AND FIRMER:
50 grams Lanolin
50 grams Vaseline
20 drop Tincture of Benzoin
Mixed with water in which 10 grams of iodide of potassium has been dissolved.