I think this story is apocryphal, like the tale of the monk running from Brie to Camembert and took the secret of cheesemaking with him. I like the idea of Young Louis Pasteur…a bit like Young Sherlock Holmes. Perhaps he could hunt vampires in his spare time.
A few days ago an Instagrammer called rapikaur_ uploaded a series of photos on Instagram on the theme of her menstrual cycle. Instagram took them down. She put them up again. They removed them again. Internet outrage ensued, and Instagram finally relented with an apology.
During this there was also a large amount of outrage against the photos, most of which seemed to be some version of “ooh, yuk.”
I believe that this is a learned societal taboo, and we can change this attitude. Menstruation is something that one-half of the population has to deal with on a near-monthly basis. For a lot of guys in relationships, the menstrual cycle is A Thing That Happens To Her. Anything more than this, and guys run off with their fingers in their ears singing “Ta-La-La.”
Far be it from me to lecture other men about knowing someone’s fertility cycle, I instead want to present a challenge. And it’s all about information and communication.
When I was younger, I was vaguely aware of what girls around me were going through during ‘their period’, but only just. The first lot of sex ed at school was when I was twelve, and consisted of a general FAQ told to the whole class, followed by splitting girls and guys into two separate groups so that we can watch videos about specific (and secret) things happening to our discrete gender.
(This was a Catholic education. It included the dichotomy of “Yes, God says that condoms are evil, but please use a condom.” The Authority Of The Church was rendered toothless by puberty.)
To tell the truth, there was plenty we thought we knew as teenaged boys at school; making jokes about it being so-and-so’s time of the month, and the time we made a huge deal out of finding a tampon in the boy’s toilets.
I was well into my twenties and the menstrual cycle was still a complete mystery to me. And I’m sure it is to many guys out there.
To demystify it, I have a challenge for every guy who is in a committed relationship: learn her cycle.
Step one: get permission. Please don’t start collecting information about her body without her knowledge. So at least start a conversation. “I want to learn more about your cycle,” is a good start.
Second: if you don’t have a diary, get one. If you do have a diary or online calendar or something, then make a mark or entry on the first day of her period, which is to say, the first day the bleeding starts. Be discreet with this mark. The last thing you want to be doing is writing in big bold red lettering “THE FIRST DAY OF HER PERIOD”. In my experience, diaries tend not to be the bastions of privacy that we might like to think they are, so emblazoning it so that other people can read it at a distance is the height of misusing the information given to you in confidence. All you need is a mark, something that you know the meaning of. An asterix, smiley face, the letter p. Whatever works for you.
And that’s all it is. Make a mark in your diary for first day of the every period.
The rest you can figure out from this information: Firstly, just how long your beloved’s cycle actually is. Most average out at about 28 to 30 days. Some might be longer, like 35 days. Others might be much shorter, around 25 days. Remember, deviating from the societal mean is to be expected; every body is different!
Now you can also determining ovulation. The rule of thumb is about halfway between periods, but again it’s different for different people. For a few days she experiences lots of great hormones that can make sex is intensely desirable. It is also when she is at her most fertile, so this is the time to be trying for babies, or being really careful with your own emissions. If you don’t want to get her pregnant, then use a condom (remember, they’re only 98% effective.) Also be aware that your sperm can survive for some time inside her. I have read sources that say sperm can live up to five days inside the female body. I’ve read other sources that say ten. The short of it is that unprotected sex before ovulation can lead to pregnancy. This is both you and your partner’s responsibility, and being aware of her cycle is a great way to start that conversation.
I’ve always thought that both people should own the sexual health of a partnership, and that’s includes the crampy, difficult times. In my experience, women experience different levels of pain. Some women just take few pain killers and walk out into the day. Others are struck hard with gut-wrenching agony. As guys, there is nothing biologically equivalent that we experience. Be at the ready with hotwater bottles, cuddles, a warm hand on her belly, and compassion.
And yes, you can have sex during this time. There’s some research (and plenty of anecdotal evidence) that says that period pain is lessened by orgasms and vaginal stimulation. If you’re squeamish about the blood, remember there’s plenty of other fluids involved in sex; this is just one more. Put down a towel. You can have a shower later.
Information and communication. This mix isn’t going to work for all couples, but do start a conversation. Find out what works for you. At very least, don’t be deliberately ignorant of her cycle.
I’m as guilty as the next parent for letting electronic devices do a little free babysitting for me while I knuckle down and catch up on the housework or sleep. And over the last few years I have noticed a gradual shift in what my son likes to do with screen-based entertainment. Currently, it seems it’s less about playing games and more about using YouTube to watch other people play games.
And for the most part it been an okay deal. My son was into watching The Diamond Minecart, who is aware a lot of his audience comprises people under the age of ten, as opposed to SkyDoesMinecraft, who has saltier language than a sailor at the annual “Get Ya Salt Out” salty language competition.
But then two things happened. Because of the general disruption of loud YouTubing at 7am on a Saturday morning when I do some intense catching up on checking the inside of my eyelids for leaks, my son started watching YouTube on the iPad with headphones. Combined with this was the feature of YouTube videos ending with a list of recommendations, not really knowing who the viewing audience actually is.
So I was a little taken aback last night when, in tucking him off to bed having brushed teeth and done stories, he asked me “Dad, what’s a faggot?”
Admittedly, I wasn’t too surprised, as the previous week he asked what “teabagging” was.
My mind went in two different ways. Of course there was the obligatory “What an incredibly irresponsible father I am and need to immediately turn myself in to child protection services” mantra, which, after years of chewing at the back of my mind is getting easier to subdue. The second direction was “What do I tell him?”
Although my private life tends to be a thin tissue of lies that seem alright at the time but later becomes a raging awkward social monster that I have to deal with while cursing myself for not telling the truth in the first place, when it comes to my son I have always tried to be honest. This began when he was quite young when I refused to baby my language for him. That isn’t a “birdie”; it’s a “peacock”. We’re not in a “brum brum”; I’m driving a “car”. Don’t call that a “monster”; it’s “The great and terrible Cthulhu who waits dreaming in his house at R’lyeh”. It’s gratifying years later when he sometimes pulls out words that are three syllables or longer in general conversation, and I can barely contain my pride.
So I began by asking where he had heard it. And, yes, it was a Let’s Play of a computer game on YouTube. “You’re a faggot, Harry,” was the context. I took a deep breath, and plunged in.
“A faggot…” I began. I outlined that for a long time in our society, people who identify as gay have been seen with fear and/or loathing. As such, there are bad names for gay, and faggot is one of them. And people sometimes call each other faggot as an insult. And that faggot was once a word meaning “bundle of sticks”.
Actually, it was less like a lecture and more like a conversation. He was initially frightened that he had done something wrong, but was engaged with listening to me. When I told him faggot used to have a different meaning, he chimed in to say that he knew gay once meant happy. Ultimately, I want him to understand that the world of words is a large and powerful place. To use a word like faggot as an insult is also demeaning to a whole group of people. I told him I didn’t want him using that word, and he agreed. We also agreed to have a longer conversation about some of the things he’s watching on the Tube of Yous.
My instinct is to not shy away from difficult moments with “Uh, I’ll tell you when you’re older,” and instead engage them head on now with the intention to build a social responsible young man who might be able to one day engage with his peers in telling them that faggot is not an appropriate word to use unless they are collecting firewood. My son is going to engage with media in places where I don’t have direct control over it, and being open to his questions about what he has seen and heard is the first step in helping provide a framework for understanding the greater world out there. I want him to be polite and socially responsibly, and most importantly, know who Cthulhu is.
I have uploaded the VSSEC Marscraft beta to my public Dropbox. Download the files here.
1. Unzip the Marscraft Files.zip to somewhere convenient.
2. Inside is a folder called “The Resource Pack”. It has a single folder called “Marscraft”. This needs to go into the Minecraft resourcepacks folder. The easiest way to get to it is:
o Start Minecraft;
o From the main menu, go to “Options…”
o Go to “Resource Packs…”
o Click “Open resource pack folder”.
o Copy the whole “Marscraft” folder into “resourcepacks”.
3. In the “Select Resource Packs” menu, move Marscraft from “Available Resource Packs” to “Selected Resource Packs”.
4. Now for the “Marscraft 3.3″ folder in “The Save Game”. This needs to be copied to “saves” folder in the “minecraft” folder (just under the “resourcepacks” folder.)
Playing the Marscraft Adventure Map.
You are an explorer on Mars. You wake up one bright Mars morning in the Gale Crater to the sound of alarms. The Lovecraft rover has gone haywire, and needs to be retrieved.
Your mission is to:
1. Track down the Mars rover.
2. Repair the return trail between the base and the rover.
3. Write down the Rover report data, and note it down its location on this sheet.
4. Ride the rover back to base!
If you download the file and try it out, do let me know! Drop me a line either to my email firstname.lastname@example.org (subject line: Marscraft beta) or contact me through Twitter @seanmelliott. I will put your name down on the “Testers” credits, and will send you a thank you present.
It was several months ago now that I put in the application to be part of the 2014 Melbourne Fringe. The final night for the show was on Saturday, and had an amazing sold-out performance, and a really great review!
It’s left me today reflecting on a few things over the past few months that made Rough Science: LIFE the success that it was. (Images by Fenstar Images.)
To get it on stage, I ran a crowdfunding campaign through Pozible. This is the second time I’ve run a Pozible campaign, with the first one being an unmitigated disaster — a disaster I learned quite a lot from. This time I had a closely planned budget, carefully thought-out rewards, and all of my social media posts lined up for the next few weeks. The campaign finished past the funded mark, with two people going for the extra-special $200 reward of a Rough Science birthday.
It’s not a One-Man-Show
The next time I do something like this, I will be pulling together some kind of production team. In the meantime, I had a small and brilliant group of volunteers helping out at various stages of the project. (Though I couldn’t pay people, where I could I arranged Fringe Artist Passes, which get you into other performances for free and discounts at the Fringe Club.) They were: Astrophysicist Katie Mack, Astrophysicist Ruth Pearson, Paul Elliott, and Fenstar Images.
And my parents stepped up to the plate every night.
Ira Glass has this quote where he talks about the disappointment we may feel when our work does not live up to the image in our heads. When I performed Rough Science: LIFE at the Adelaide Fringe for the very first time, the gap between what I had presented and what I wanted to present was enormous. In the twenty-four hours between the first and second performance, I had some coaching from Cobi Smith, plus I added something new to each section. That second performance was closer to my vision.
Several months later, and the Rough Science: LIFE experience was still closer to what I wanted to present. It had moved away from being a lecture, to being a more dynamic and engaging science show.
For next time
It is possibly time to put Rough Science: LIFE to bed and move onto another project. What happens next? Well, if (and when!) I write another show, I am definitely going to put together a team to help with all the aspects of the production. As much a I want to have my hands on all parts of the show, the last few weeks have been intensely stressful!
Breaking even, and possibly making a profit, is intrinsic to making the process sustainable. Another Pozible is definitely in the future.
In the meantime, there is a mass of goodwill and good feelings from the audience who came and the people who supported the show. I love you all!
One of the items I want for students to use in Marscraft is an actual, real world, physical map to write down the data being shed by the broken rover.
The Marscraft surface has been created using a height map of the Gale Crater on Mars, which is a greyscale image. Each pixel’s shading represents the surface height at that area. Black is the lowest point, and white is the highest, with all the shades of grey being a height in between.
It was two functions within Photoshop. First I reduced the number of colours used in the height map using Photoshop’s Image > Adjustments > Posterize… This blends the areas into a smaller set of averaged colour groups. In theory, these new areas are within a certain height range.
The second step is to find the edges of these contour blobs. Filter > Stylize > Find Edges This creates a line drawing, which is now our contour map for the original height map.
Changing the number of levels in the Posterize step varies the number of contour lines.
Next: creating the student worksheet.
Earlier this year I took Rough Science: LIFE to the Adelaide Fringe. Now I get a chance to show it in my home town. But before then, I am raising money on Pozible bring it to the stage in September.
I am updating props, and there are posters and programs I would like to print. Plus, I would also like to hire an Auslan interpreter for the final night.
There are a bunch of rewards for contributing to the campaign. It would be awesome if you helped out! Check out the Rough Science: LIFE! Pozible campaign page for more details.
The news of Robin William’s death floored me.
He influenced me. I named him as a role model in an RE class when I was in Year 10. I remember being inspired by his confidence.
In university, I taped an interview with him and Martin/Malloy, which I listened to over and over. The difference between their comedic styles was stark: Williams effortlessly made jokes about whatever subject they were talking about. It seemed to be the tip of an iceberg of massive eclectic knowledge of the world, powered by confidence.
All of this went into the hopper of what became my own stage presence. Robin Williams, Jim Carey, Rowan Atkinson, and Bill Cosby were my comedy touchstones.
Energy, wit and confidence. I remember the delight when I recognised Williams when I was eleven and singing along to Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy” filmclip.
(Years later, I would do my own version of Bobby McFerrin’s pentatonic scale demonstration during my second Evening of Rough Science stage show.)
At some point, probably after Bicentennial Man, I stopped caring so much about the films he starred in. Good Will Hunting was the last film he was in that I connected with.
Now I suppose there will be newspaper and blog headlines: “The day the laughter died.” I’m sad, and I feel his loss. At time same time, I look back on my past, and see the moments when his presence in the world touched my reality, and I am glad he was alive.
So far in my progress with learning French using Duolingo, I have mainly need to focus on vocabulary. Now that I have got to the higher level lessons, I am getting into the meatier grammar. It has taken quite a lot of attempts to pass the Être/Avoir skill level. There was nothing for it, but to memorise the following:
être (to be)
avoir (to have)
(Pro-tip: if you want to type ê on a Mac keyboard, press option-i followed by e.)